@OceanBlue Well. I lived much of the above for most of my life. Lived for 2 decades as a rent slave to jackass landlords. While most I knew were eating out, I was living on beans and water. Miserable life. But I was prepping in my mind. I would write down my goals, even when it seemed impossible for any of them to ever be a reality. I actually found a list of goals, about a year ago, which I had written about 20 years ago i.e. house, land, tools, etc etc And every single item on the list I now live as reality. And, for some reason, in early 2019, blessing began to slowly rain down on me, after years of failures and curses. I am still way behind, but point is NEVER GIVE UP.